From her 16 years researching courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy, Dr. Brené Brown points out that, “We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.”
It is actually freeing to fully feel the hard emotions if you are willing to unhook from the story attached to the feeling. For example, if you apply for a position at work, and the job is given to someone else, it is healthy to allow yourself to fully (and responsibly) feel your hurt and anger. As a result you will feel a sense of being relieved and restored at the end of the natural emotional cycle. If however you feed the story alongside your anger, and keep ruminating on thoughts such as, “I can’t believe they gave the job to…he’s so unqualified… I can’t face anyone at work now…” then you will more likely amplify painful thoughts and/or get trapped in them.
When you meet your feelings face to face, and allow the story and limiting beliefs to fall away, you cleanse your inner space and allow greater access to joy, power, wellbeing, and love.
In Steering By Starlight, Martha N. Beck calls this, “The Ring of Fire:”
The Ring of Fire is the emotional process we must go through to reach the Core of Peace. There are only two ways to accomplish this. We can disbelieve any false ideas that are causing unnecessary pain. Any unavoidable pain — loss of health or a loved one for example — we must grieve.
Often we try our best to tidy up our lives by compartmentalization and shoving our messes in closets and under the bed. This has consequences however, because separation is merely an illusion. We are are whole human beings, connected to body, mind, emotion, spirit – everything at the same time. So your harsh body image….it’s impacting your job, your unfulfilling job…it’s impacting your relationships, and so on and so on.
Here’s the great news, each action that you take to de-cluttering your mind and consciously connect with your true experience, makes a difference! So whether you could be featured on an episode of “Emotional Hoarders,” or you have only one junk drawer, engaging in the process is completely within your control. It does not require perfection, and it will absolutely transform your life!